Your prompt for today:
Compose ten neologisms inspired by the year 2020. They can be shorthand expressions you’ve been using when texting with friends and family. New coinages to describe novel quarantine behaviors. Old phrases that now hold new meaning. Outdated expressions from youth you’ve rediscovered since moving back in with your parents. Expletives that emerge from a primal place—ones you didn’t know could be unleashed by the presence of an unmasked stranger in the frozen foods.
Bonus: Slip your neologisms into as many conversations as possible today and see if they go… bacterial.
Covid Hair – hair designed by yourself due to lack of hairdresser. Could include poorly cut bangs, small pony tails and self dye jobs. Best example when Canadian Prime Minister appeared with Jet Black hair – several days later toned down to his black brown
Blonde extinction: The loss of a whole subset of society who believe that they have more fun. Finding out black and brown part widening is the new blonde and is almost as much fun.
Quarent-hat – a covering to cover Covid Hair. Worn outdoors and indoors. Removal will cause comedy moment
Movie review Zoom – invented by a friend to get 2 sets of sisters and one mutual friend to discuss movies each had watched on their own. Sister personalities and rivalries stand out.
Pandemic University – not invented by me but attended. A group of writers, looking for inspiration joined for classes. Fees paid help writers make ends meet
Furtive shopping – masked bandits hurry around shopping aisles hoping not to meet others and have to talk, mingle or stay in the shop too long.
Meter-estimate – checking your distance between people by imagining a meter, some measurement you really only use in sewing. Six feet makes more sense, but being Canadian we pretend we know more metric than we believe
Distancing Meter blaming – looking at others who don’t seem to know the length of a meter inching ( or is it centi-metering ) up in the lines thinking the line will go faster. Eye rolls often accompany this.
Button pants : This was coined by Pluto the dog and if you haven’t found him on the youtubes, go do so. He comes from Canadalands ( also a new word ) and is funny. Advice is you best try on your button pants weekly to make sure they still do up. Other words that we will use in the future are ” the googlies” the “Americalands” and so much more.
Swipe right – as in Tinder – said to someone who has never even heard of tinder or used it, to get gallery view on Zoom. First time used got some funny looks at me – wondering what I was doing on Tinder.. not !
Covid Chalk art – decorative writing on many side-walks to cheer others. Most recently to honour the Snowbird Acrobatic team who had a dreadful accident where one was killed and one injured.
Graduation street banners – for cancelled graduations banners of graduates faces and names line main streets and parades
Birthday Parades – decorated cars drive down various streets celebrating the birthdays of children and adults alike.
Clorox- farewell – the act of grabbing a Clorox wipe ( Homemade or hoarded ) as your guest gets up to leave, and disinfecting her way out to the inside door handle.
Graphaholic – the obsession with knowing the infinitesimal move the graph has made towards flattening or curving downward
Cuomolove- new obsession with the two Cuomo brothers who dominate the news.
Bookshelf distraction : the art of looking at all the bookshelf backgrounds and examining to see if they are real or if you can decide the reading preference of the presenter. This leads to rewinding of the tv show as you didn’t listen to what was said.
Bookshelf envy; If you do decide its real, this leads to bookshelf envy, design critics, and random buying of more intellectual looking books.